Accident Prone doesn't even begin to cover it...

I don’t think in any of the posts that I made about myself that I shared the most fundamental aspects of who I am. I am a magnet for accidents. You know when they make new products they have people who test them to see if they can be hurt on them and they pass and then a few months later some schumck gets hurt on it and there is some mass recall? You can bet that 9 out of 10 times, that schmuck was me. If it is even remotely possible to be hurt on something, I can do it.

There are products that are made to help keep people safe. Take for example those rubber texturized mats that are made to go on the bottom of bath tubs and showers.

Those are there to help prevent people from slipping and falling. I used to slip and slid all of the time in my bath tub so I invested in a huge bath mat that covered the entire bottom. There was no way I was going to slip in the tub anymore. WRONG. Not a week after purchasing the mat I was taking a shower and went to turn around and then all of the sudden I was on my back on the floor of the tub and my left elbow felt like it had EXPLODED. I knew as soon as I hit the tub that I had broken my arm. I fell on a no slip shower mat and broke my arm. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? The pain was at least a 11 on the pain scale. 

Unfortunately for me, it was a Sunday night. Not only a Sunday night, but a Sunday night on a holiday weekend and I just happened to work for a company that had a policy that you had to work a full 8 hours before the holiday and a full 8 hour after the holiday weekend in order to receive the holiday pay. Doubly unfortunate was that it was the Thanksgiving holiday and I would have lost pay for Thanksgiving day and the day after as the company was going to pay us for both days. If I went to the doctor, they would have made me miss the following day and even if they didn’t, the cast would have made my boss send me packing. Not to mention that my boss would have been pissed if I called in for a broken arm. She did not like it when someone was gone from work regardless of the reason. So, I made the decision to just suck it up and go to work. 

Let me just tell you that if you work a job that uses your hands and your arms exclusively and the job CANNOT be performed in any way without the full use and range of your arms, do not try to suck it up and go to work. The pain was unbelievable. As soon as I finished my 8 hour shift, I drove myself to the doctor and got my arm put in a cast. To add insult to injury in the most literal sense, my doctor did not believe me when I told him that I slipped and fell on a no slip shower pad and he brought his female nurse in to confront me in a domestic violence intervention. The humiliation was priceless, but that was nothing compared to the orange beam incident. Perhaps I will share that story tomorrow.  

I can be right too

It does not happen often that I am able to say that I am right about something and that my husband was wrong. When it does happen, I relish in it. It is those rare moments that make me feel like I may actually be a little bit smart because I know something that Mr. I Know Everything does not know. Mr. I Know Everything was born and raised in the south. He has not been around snow very much and he thinks his driving skills are amazing and when you add the two together, you just know there is going to be a problem.

So, knowing that there was a storm on the way, I tell Mr. I Know Everything that he needs to not go to work today because it is an hour away in this really crappy weather, but he knows everything (remember the name) and says that he is going to go. So I tell him to at least take my car as it has full coverage and will cover everything in the event of an accident. Mr. I Know Everything says no because he wasn’t going to get in an accident. Uh huh. Can you imagine the surprise when the phone rings not long after he heads out to work and he tells me he has been in an accident? Actually, there was no surprise. I knew it would happen because I saw his reckless abandon driving in the snow only 2 days prior. Flying down the freeway doing 75 in a 60 mile an hour zone when they snow was just falling out of the sky. Yeah, I was not a little bit surprised.

I am glad that my husband is okay and that his vehicle is not too badly damaged, but I can’t help feeling that if he had only listened to me, this would not have happened. The accident is not what bugs me, it is the fact that he felt my suggestions were meaningless when it turns out that sometimes, I am not as dumb as people believe.