We were at the Vancouver Mall and Mack was wanting a cup of sweet tea. We had looked everywhere when someone finally suggested that he try the bubble tea place to see if they had some. Bubble Tea? What the heck is bubble tea? Neither one of us had ever heard of it but it had tea in the title so it was at least a good place to start.
When we found the place we were certain from the get go that there was no way these people would have sweet tea. Watching the interaction of the two girls behind the counter gave me little hope that either of them had even heard of tea that wasn't bubblefied. Little did I know that I wasn't far from the truth. I am amazed these girls had even figured out how to walk and breathe at the same time.
When it was Mack's turn he walked up to the counter and asked the girl if they sold regular tea without the fruit pieces, flavors, and pearls whatever those were. This is the conversation that followed.
Sales Girl: Pearls? We don't put necklaces in our tea. Oh wait a second, do you mean the tapioca pearls? Ha. Ha. Now I get it. I forgot we called them tapioca pearls. I do that sometimes....forget things, ya know? So like anyways, wait, what was the question?
Mack: What are tapioca pearls?
SG: They are pearls made from tapioca?
Mack: what is tapioca?
SG: (Blank Stare)
Um, Hold on (disappears to the back of the store and then returns with another girl.
Other Girl: What was your question?
Mack: What are tapioca pearls?
OG: Tapioca pearls? Well they are pearls that come from Tapioca.
Mack: What is tapioca?
SG: This is why I found you. I don't know (insert high pitch teenager girl laughter)
OG: Um, wait, um, I think, no, well, I don't know.
They look like this (goes to container and gets a spoonful of tapioca pearls)
Mack: That looks.... interesting.
SG: They kinda look like big black balls of snot huh?
(Pan to see me in background barely able to stand up straight because I am laughing so hard)
OG: Yeah they kinda do. (To Mack) You wanna try one?
Mack: (looks afraid) ...What do they taste like?
OG: I don't know. They don't really have a taste.
Mack: So they taste like nothing?
OG: Yeah!
Mack: So why do you add them to the tea?
OG: To give it flavor.
Mack: But they taste like nothing.
SG: & OG: YEAH!
Mack: So why do you add them?
OG: To give them flavor
Mack: What do they taste like?
SG: Nothing
Mack. But if they have no flavor, why do you add them to the tea?
OG: (getting irritated) To give them flavor.
Mack: Do you see what I am trying to say? You say that the pearls have no flavor but you add them to the tea to give them flavor. If they have no flavor, how do they give the tea flavor? Does that make sense?
OG: No.
SG: Wait, are you asking why they have no flavor if we add them to the tea?
Mack: No, I am asking WHY you add them to the tea IF they have no flavor.
SG: I think I get it. You want to know why they are put in the tea if they don't taste like anything. Well they kinda have a taste. (takes one from the spoon and eats it) They kinda have a snot flavor and they are slimy like snot so it kinda gives it a snot flavor. Wanna try one?
Mack: They taste like snot and you want me to eat one?
SG: Yeah.
Mack: That's okay, I'll pass.
OG: They don't really taste like snot. We boil them in brown sugar and water. They have a very sweet flavor to them. Like sugar. We use them to sweeten the tea.
Mack: So you add them to sweeten the tea?
OG: Yeah
Mack: That's what I was trying to figure out. Okay do you have regular tea?
OG: What's that?
Mack: Like black tea. What kind of tea do you use to make you drinks?
OG: You mean the concentrate?
Mack: What is that?
OG: Tea
Mack: Can I have some tea?
SG: We have concentrate that is made from tea, but not tea.
Mack: So the concentrate is tea.
OG: Yeah, do you want a glass of that?
Mack: (looks at me like he is about to snap) (whispers) Isn't that what I just asked for?
Me: (I am holding on to the stroller so that I don't fall onto the floor from laughing so much. Actually holding onto would mean I had some sort of control. I was practically laying on the thing to remain somewhat upright) I thought that was what you had asked for but maybe I heard you wrong.
Mack: (to other girl) Yes, can I have a glass of tea?
OG: We don't sell tea.
Mack (after his head explodes all over the wall) You just said you had tea.
OG: We have concentrate
Mack: Isn't that the tea?
OG: Yes
Mack: Can I have a glass of the tea concentrate?
OG: We don't have tea just concentrate.
Mack: (has lost his mind and is now insane) Ya, know what? never mind.
